Voice Within

DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with a fire at one end and a fool on the other.

LECTURE: An art of transferring information for the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

DICTIONARY: A place where success comes before work.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

CLASSIC: A book, which people praise, but do not read.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST: A person who, while falling from the Eiffel Tower says in midway, "See, I'm not injured yet."

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest ... except that he got caught.

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills and then kills you with his bills.