Tears of Happiness

by: Aftab Bashir

The greatest sorrow, the deepest pain, the biggest misery and the most worrisome day of life is just a sorrow, a pain, a misery and a day in life that comes and goes without staying for long. Aside from little happiness, these are the elements that constitute most part of our lives. We human can't spend our whole life by just sticking to one sorrow or happiness. Change in joys and change even in sorrows, that's what we always want in life intentionally or unintentionally.

However, we have a nature that is always more prone to sorrows and which has somewhat neglecting attitude towards joys and happiness of life. You may have observed whenever people have to undergo some heartbreak or other sorrow, they usually take considerably longer time to recover and for some people it becomes quite difficult to recover from this sorrow. They become the victim of some disease and sometimes lose their lives. They treat sorrows as their bosom buddy and don't miss any opportunity to be with them, especially at some joyful moments of their lives. Their bosom buddies (sorrows) always bring a present for such occasion called the tears of happiness.

Why it is so? Why people don't remember the joyful moments of their lives when they pass through some sorrow or painful condition in their lives? I never saw someone laughing in painful and tragic condition of his/her life, and if someone laughs in such conditions, it means s/he has driven out of mind and can't be reckoned a normal person anymore. If tears in happiness can appear, why not laughter in pain? Perhaps, it's because of our sorrow-friendly nature.

Good and bad days come in everyone's life, but these days have wings and soon disappear in the mist of time. Time has been created to be passed and the people, who are well aware of this fact, know well how to cope with sorrows, pains and difficulties of life.

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If Noah Was A Filipino

(Funny but Strikingly True!)

It is the year 2008 and Noah lives in the PHILIPPINES.

The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark. "

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into tumult.

The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark ?"

"Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big problems. First, I had to get a Mayor's permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes".

I had to hire their "engineering firm" and "redraw" the plans. Then I got into a fight with Municipal Fire Safety Inspector over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and extinguishers.

Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a permit from the municipal planning office.

I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark , because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Monkey-Eating Eagle. I finally convinced the DENR that I needed the wood To save the eagles. However, the DENR won't let me catch any eagles. So, no eagles.

The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the KMU. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark , but still no eagles. When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.

Just when I got the suit dismissed, the DENR again notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact assessment on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the
universe.

Then the DPWH demanded a map of the proposed new flood plan. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the DOLE that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!

The BIR has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the BIR that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft.

The NBI and ISAFP each wanted a piece of the action alleging that the Ark would be used by the Magdalo soldiers to escape. The PNP on the other hand insists that Abu Sayaff might use the Ark to flee to Indonesia .

Malacañang sees the opportunity to use the Ark for GMA's Strong Republic Nautical Highway presidential campaign sorties.

Finally the Senate got the courts to issue a TRO against further construction of the Ark , saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore
unconstitutional.

I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 10 or 16 years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully.

"You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," said the Lord sadly....

"The government is already doing that."

End

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Joktionary

DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with a fire at one end and a fool on the other.

LECTURE: An art of transferring information for the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

DICTIONARY: A place where success comes before work.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

CLASSIC: A book, which people praise, but do not read.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST: A person who, while falling from the Eiffel Tower says in midway, "See, I'm not injured yet."

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest ... except that he got caught.

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills and then kills you with his bills.

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NOSE BLEED 2 – 51st CENTURY DATES

It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie niya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans niya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: “Indaaaaayyyy…”

Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?

“Dodong!” sigaw ko.

Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.” Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.

“kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open? Tanong niya.

“Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko eh” sabi ko.

Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortex. He’s every woman’s dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction Worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat naming. Nagging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.

“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong.

Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter.

“What’s your odor sir?” sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.

“Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.

“Yes sir” sabi nito. “And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin.

Hmmm…mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.

“I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh.” Sagot ko.

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long way to run.

“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married” pagmamalaki ko.

“Din a pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way. Past if fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” Dagdag ko pa.

Tumahimik siya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di naglaon, nagsalita na rin siya.

“I don’t care less!” sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.

Kinabahan na ko. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.

“Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko sa mamang guard.

“Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” Sagot niya.

“Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.”

“Diretso lang.” sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”

“Thanks for your corporation.” Sabi ko.

Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na naming nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kaninaang pag disappear niya.

“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot niya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s away.

“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?” bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:

“I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang Makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”

From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga.

Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa ring ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I’m on cloud.

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The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.

When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
“We must do something about father," said the son.
“I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.”

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled a food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens,
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life”.

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

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